Today is the last day! In several hours I will be heading back up north for awhile again.
I cried last night. Cried for the dream job I once had becoming something completely different overtime. Cried because I would be missing the city, which is like my playground. Cried because I was going to miss my home, and the privacy and alone time that comes with it. Finally I cried for friends, but most of all my Bestie.
This is hard. I knew it was going to be hard. There will be many more moments when it will feel like it is really hard.
However, I remind myself, pray, and meditate on the reasons why the change had to happen:
-For my sanity
-For my soul, my spirit
-To stay the happy-go-lucky-energetic person I have always been
-Focus on family and spend time with them while I can before I get to go back
-Gives me time to work on some fun hobbies
As I think and focus on those reasons, it helps.
Also remembering that it will be a roller coaster of emotions; some days when I think I am alright, and then suddenly I will be homesick. Knowing it will occur and that it is perfectly normal helps. Reminding myself that I am only a human being trying to survive in this big wide world like everyone else going who goes through these emotions as well is also a comfort.
I will be ok. My loved ones and I will be ok. No matter whether I am near them or far.
... But never so far that I have a panic attack and curl up into a ball in a corner and rock back and forth. That's what would happen if everyone was too far away from me!
~Ange
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