I once again am in a hospital with my Mother. This time at the hospital in my hometown I grew up in from age twelve until I was twenty-one, which was the age I was when I moved to Large Town to stay with Dad and go to college.
We got there at eight in the morning. Later she was transferred to a bigger hospital in River Place (as I will call it). There we discovered why pains were building up again in her; fluids building up in her in the wrong places of her body. Furthermore, there is a sneaky infection hiding somewhere, it has been taking a long time to locate it. In the meantime it feels like they are pumping her with drugs just to help as much as possible to help in the best way they can.
Despite the slow process of everything, the team working on her are excellent, even warm and caring and constantly communicating with one another about everything. I am thoroughly impressed, and it makes me realize that this is how my old job once was, and it is sad to know that it no longer runs like these doctors and nurses do. I love them for their kindness and passion in this environment they have created for their patients.
As my Aunt, Sam and I are all reunited again in just a matter of a couple of days since our trip to Large Town, I am reminded of how one lives their lives in the present can greatly affect themselves in the future; my Mom being the prime example.... sadly.
I spent a decade telling her, sometimes even really giving her the gears about how she lives her life and how important it is to keep balance and have some fun in her life. The type of cancer she had and her other health issues definitely are signs of how she should've made changes, how she should've been more considerate and loving of herself.
It could be viewed as amazing at how she has given so much of herself to her career and to others in the work sphere of her life. BUT! To never take proper vacations, take time to rest and eat properly, have a better routine, or even take time to spend with family and friends anymore (she literally didn't socialize with anyone for years). Unfortunately, having a very toxic relationship with the boyfriend she had for so many years was not good for her either. Everything from overworking herself, associating with very negative folks in her personal realm, and not maintaining her health accumulated to the hardships she faces now.
There has been improvements in some areas of her life I am proud of her, especially with reconnecting and flourishing in her relationships with family and friends; particularly the more loving and caring family members and pals.
Knock on wood! I hope to never be in a hospital and have the chronic aches, pains and illnesses that some of my loved ones are facing. I haven't been in a hospital in thirty years, and last time I was in one was due to a horrid kidney infection when I was a toddler. Everyone including the doctors were always amazed at how quickly my own body fought it off before they even figured out what was going on, or even before they even commenced with medications; the doc says it was like my tiny frame carried an arsenal of it's own, and as I recovered so fast it was if it never happened. I have always felt very fortunate that I usually have been able to battle illnesses with my own immune system; as it turns out, just those on my paternal side who came before me.
As we sat in the hospital my Aunt reminded me again of words she had said just a few days ago, "You are looking and hearing all these health problems all us old people have and thinking, 'God I am never gonna be like them!'" She laughed as she said this. Unfortunately, that is what I was thinking... more like, I hope it never does. Her own son, Big Bro followed up with that later when it was just the two of us out for a nice long walk with his dog by saying, "It's so true though! God! I don't want to end up like them. It's time I considered those things and get on track as well. I don't mean to be MEAN but I have a son, I can't afford to become like that." I can tell this has all scared him, a lot.
We do have aces up our sleeves that have given us advantage over many of our friends our age who are deteriorating as badly as our folks. We don't party, neither of us have tried drugs of any kind, we rarely drink, we are super-active, we have awesome love and support from our families, we have hobbies and passions that keep us busy, and we are energetic-happy-go-lucky kids. And his son is already a very energetic-happy-go-lucky and extremely active eighteen month old toddler.
Just sitting around the hospital for a day and half was wear and tear on my body; I am usually on the go and take proper breaks in between my activities in a day, and sitting so much was not good for me. I ended up falling asleep on the floor beside my Mother's bed (when I say I can sleep almost anywhere I am not kidding), unless nurses and doctors needed me to move. My Sam was amused, my Aunt was concerned AND impressed. At least it gave them a chuckle. My sister who is always the comedian (just like our other sister Crash) kept us laughing in her comical voices and hilarious stories of our sisterly escapades. Time flies as we reminisced. Then our Mom and Aunt reminisced about their childhood in a family of five and the upbringing they had from our grandparents (God rest their souls). It helped us cope.
At the end of day when we had to leave and tend to other things back home the nurses managed to get Mom's pain under control with powerful drugs; as the pain receded and she quickly fell asleep, she was smiling, the best she felt the past few days since the agony had started for her.
At home Sam and I watched our favourite anime and made us supper.
Making meals for everyone came to me quite quickly as much as settling in with my tiny backpack and tote bag. I usually cook for just me, but an old habit from my youth of maintaining my Mom's home, or, Dad's home (wherever I was) and cooking for everyone arose in me; and that is what I have been doing.
Getting sisterly bonding time has been so nice.
Later I got brother-sister time on a nice long walk with my Big Bro. Perfect way to take time to ourselves and unwind from the hectic day we each had.
The sky above the long highway glowed purple, pink, and blue with the sun glowing red.
Big Bro who is also a volunteer firefighter worries another fire started in the next province over, and we soon will have a gray covered sky and air filled with smoke
~Ange.
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